I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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