I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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