I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
