btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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