Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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