another moral hangover. fuck.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
