Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
