He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
