Whod you bang
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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