hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
