I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
