I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
her facebook's as public as her vagina
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
