Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
