I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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