She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
