I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
