just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
