jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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