i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
where are my eyebrows?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
