She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I think I am morally bankrupt
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
