do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
