I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
