I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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