The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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