haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
