im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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