Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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