Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
