I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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