I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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