I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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