woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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