Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
