Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
