There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
