dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just gargled with NyQuil
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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