How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
