Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
