I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Randomize
