would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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