Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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