im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
