I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
