I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
