Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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