Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Two words: nipple clamps
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