I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
