i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
