I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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