You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
