is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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